Family Haven is a wonderful and happy place for all families round the globe. Families are invited to write comments about their families, say anything they want on the posts, share any wonderful family experiences. Do you have any problems? Ohh.. Please do state them in the comments column. You will receive a solution from the many 'family counselors'.
FIND PEACE, HAPPINESS AND FAMILY COMFORT IN THE FAMILY HAVEN.
Wish all wonderful families a belated Season Greetings. Christmas is over and so is New Year celebrations. I hope all families got together during these celebrations. So much of love, peace and the spirit of giving and loving was around during these seasons. I am sure all of you had a share of this. If only love for one another in a family could be measured, imagine the amount of love in the world during these season.
Lets now look forward into the new year 2010. We hope for peace and love in 2010.
Companies need a CEO or a GM to steer the company to its right course. Organizations or Groups need a leader to guide them. Orchestras need a music conductor for the musicians to play in unison. What about families? Yes they too need a family leader but with a difference.
Who will be the family leader? In most instances, one of the parents must assume the leadership. The family leader must never be regimental but a leader of love. There are certain values to the leadership. These values can also be developed over a period time.
There are parents who are born family leaders. They possess a certain charisma which keeps the family close and happy, but not to fret if you aren't one. You can make yourself to be one.
The person who leads the family must not make it known to the family members that he is the leader. He or she just takes it upon themselves, studies the family situation carefully and ensures no untoward situations arise in the family.
First of all, as a leader, fill yourself with love and radiate this inner love to all your family members. You will automatically radiate these feelings because of your loving personality. Always make sure that you contribute happiness to your family. You are an agent of happiness. Never be the one to inject unhappiness into the family.
Always hold a positive outlook and never express any negative attitudes. Correct immediately any negative situations that arise within the family by adding positive comments in a loving and caring way.
This may not be difficult but can be cultivated with some effort. Try to have a perpetual smile on your face whatever the situation maybe. Again, develop yourself not to lose your temper. Always contain the situation however serious the situation maybe.
I know of personalities who never show any form of anger and always contain even the worst situations with a loving smile and with some positive comments to pacify the situations.
It is not difficult to develop yourself to possess all the good values as said. Build a happy aura in your home. Hence, happiness can be felt by anyone who enters your home.
Today, the traditional family is looked upon as the father and mother, who are the happily married couple, and their biological children. This is the true family in sense.
The modern day of thinking is changing the family definition. All persons living under one roof whether biologically connected or not are considered as a family. It is common to see children living with their step brothers and sisters or living with their step parents. No doubt considered as a family, can we see any good family values existing in such families. Parents getting divorced comes so easy without looking at the real consequences.
" Well, we had to end it all. It is no point carrying on. The children see us fighting all day. We need to start a new life again " This is what is heard from parents ending their marriage.
What about the poor children? Where or how do they fit in to the new relationships which their parents are going to start? Why were not the children considered in the first place? In most cases, especially if the children are still small, they suffer emotional damage.
Their studies are interrupted, they loose their direction. No doubt one of the parent will take them, but NO, they need both their biological parents. They cry for their parents.
I have personally seen schoolchildren suffering an emotional breakdown. They go to their teachers or their close friends to seek comfort.
Why does this need to happen in the first place?
True family happiness is only seen in a traditional family. The children have their real parents whom they love and trust. We need to, by all means, always maintain our biological family. This is where we have true Family Happiness.
Always find ways and means to keep your family together as relationships are built over the years. Do not lose this by just one stupid mistake.
(This is a very touching story summarised from the Catholic News, vol 59.)
Huynh Tieu Huong, an orphan girl, spent her younger days living on trains and at train stations. She moved from one foster home to another, some being kind to her, others abusive.
During the gold rush, she was employed by a slave driver who beat her until she fell unconscious. She became so afraid that she ran into the forest and finally reached Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam. She struggled all alone for survival in the streets of Ho Chi Minh City.
While roaming the streets, she adopted a child, a baby girl she named Anh Dao. Many times, Huynh contemplated suicide, but the cries of her daughter made her change her mind because she did not want her daughter to be left alone like her.
Huynh then befriended a Taiwanese man who was kind to her and provided a place for her and the daughter to stay. Hunyh then realised that the Taiwanese had ulterior motives. He wanted her body. Hunyh then threatened suicide and the Taiwanese, as a final gesture of kindness, gave her 20 ounces of gold. With this, she bought herself a house which she later sold for a good profit.
She then became business minded. She worked as an estate agent and opened a car rental service. She used the money she earned to help more homeless children. One thing that saddened her was whenever she saw children being physically abused or being made to steal.
In 2001, Que Huong Charity centre, an association for disabled children and orphans in Vietnam received its permit to operate from the Vietnamese authorities. Today, there are 300 children living at the centre and they regard Hunyh as their mother.
Over the years, Hunyh has cared for about 4000 children, some handicapped, in over 60 provinces and towns.
Hunyh has been a blessing to so many children and so too, the children have blessed her.
Today, Hunyh is no more lonely and desolate. She has so many children and they all call her 'Mummy'
Just after the turn of the millenium, Hunyh was diagnosed with cancer. Today, she is still strong and lives on.
As a natural mother who worries about her children's future, her main concern is that when she is no more around, her children would still have a place to live. She says " For as long as I am not dead, I must help the children and raise them.
We all have something to learn from her. She is a true mother for all of us to follow.
I am sure you all had a nice family weekend. One thing I am sure is my daughter's family of bears had a happy weekend together. Always remember that weekends must be spent with the whole family, may it be a big family or a small family. Your weekend lunches and dinners, all with your family. Did you have any sort of outings? It does not matter if you had not planned one. The whole family could have weekend activities in the home itself. Walks in the garden, maybe some gardening together, a game of monopoly or some board games. All these brings the family closer and closer.
Build up a real close knit family. That is what the weekends are for. The greatest asset anyone could have is a happy family.
What is happening to our children today? The media influence has become the guiding force for our children. Are the parents losing the control over their own children? Do you all agree that the media force is slowly taking over our children?
Sex, foul language, violence, homosexuality, rapes and drugs, to mention some of the few, are considered as a normal way of life as pictured in the media today. These are what our children are exposed to.
Fortunately, all is not lost. There are ways where the parents can still be the main force to mould their children to have a family with good values.
Most importantly, love your children.
It is not enough just to tell them that you love them. Show your love to them, express your feelings to them.
Show a genuine interest in your children.
This does not mean that you have to shower them with money or expensive goods. These are only of material value which eventually fades. They need something more genuine, they need you.
Communicate with your children.
Giving endless instructions or nagging at them is not communication. Engage in good conversation with them. Talk to them, listen to what they have to say. Have a pleasant and happy union with them. Make them enjoy your company.
Add humor to your family's life.
Parents, generally tend to be serious with their children. Shed off this serious outlook. Try to have a perpetual smile on your face. In this way, when you talk to your children, they in turn will see a nice pleasant face and this will light their faces in return. A beautiful smile can be contagious. Laugh with them, joke with them. This will be like a magic wand that will fill the home with happiness.
Be directly involved in your children's lives.
Know your children, their likes, their dislikes. Know their friends whom they mix with. This will give you some assurance when they are out with their friends. Monitor their school progress. Once you win their hearts, they will always turn to you to solve any of their personal problems.
Monitor your children's media.
This is very important because it is the media that you are fighting with. The media, on the other hand, is also moulding your children their way.
Monitor your children on what type of programs they watch on TV. There is a lot of sex and violence in our TV programs and this can influence them. They may look at it as a norm of today.
See what they surf on the internet. The internet today has a lot of good information as well as bad. It is always a good practice to have your computers in the living room where the computer screen is visible to all.
Again, care needs to be taken as to how you control the media. Do not set rigid rules as to make the home environment to become serious and gloomy. You need to give them some space, yes everyone needs his own space. Some tolerance also needs to be practiced.
Hi Families, let's talk about the various family occasions or functions. We have the birthdays, the anniversaries, mother's day and father's day etc..etc. Do you all celebrate each of these functions in your family? Oh, please make it a point to do so. A lot of families have this habit of celebrating the birthdays of all the members in the family. That's wonderful! Keep on doing it.
Celebrating of birthdays should start from the time your children are small and should be followed right through their adulthood. The mums and dads too should likewise, have their birthdays celebrated.
We also have other significant days like the parents' wedding anniversaries, probably the graduation day of one of the family members. Make it a point to have family celebrations. You will notice how the family becomes close during a family celebration. Certainly, these family functions builds up the family bond to make the family stay together.
A birthday can be simple with just a birthday cake and with some additional goodies. It can be kept just within the family circle. This has an advantage for all the family members to stay close with one another.
Family Celebrations brings the families closer. Have fun in your family.
Hi to all families. Today is Sunday 8th November. It is the end of another weekend. So did you all spend your weekends together as a family? Remember, it is always important to have your lunch or dinner together as a family. Have fun together, communicate and interact with one another. Families tend to become close-knit in this way.
Have weekend outings together. Did you all do this? I guess you all did. A refreshed and happy family weekend will give you a good start on a Monday. Try this. It's true!
You have a beautiful family, right? So you can enjoy health activities with them. Go for family walks, have a family game in your own garden. What about family gardening? Yes, mow the grass together, do some flower planting, beautify the garden and ask for ideas from your young minds. You will be surprised at the type of creativity that is in the minds of your children. This kind of family activities will bring the family closer and build close relationship and love within the children. In the last post, I mentioned about closeness within the children is of utmost importance.
Keep the whole family healthy at all times. Some health tips for the family are listed below :
Move More Get your family involved in physical activities. This should be carried out regularly. Remember the word ' regularly '
Maintain a Healthy Weight Your physical activities should help your family achieve this.
Eat a balanced diet This is self explanatory.
Reduce stress Take plenty of time, especially during the weekends, to have leisure activities. Remember, even children can suffer from stress. Show a lot of affection to your children. Be close to them and give them the assuring comfort.
Take Quality Nutritional Supplements Today, there are plenty of good supplements both for the adults and children.
Put Out the Cigarette For heavens sake, quit that habit if you smoke. A bad influence to your growing children. Children tend to take after their parents. What the parents do is generally right for them.
Keep an Optimistic Outlook Have a positive mental approach. Happy people have lower chances of becoming ill. And being happy makes one feel good.
This post targets those mums and dads who have two or more children.
Observe your children carefully as they grow up with regards to their relationship with each other. Ensure that they are always close to each other. Apart from their family relationship, they should also treat each other as the best of friends. They should enjoy each others company and have good communication with each other. Always keep an eye on them to make sure no strained relationship is seen to be building up between them.
Good and loving children relationship will lead to a happy family. Parents should quickly interfere if they sense any form of misunderstandings exist between their children.
Ahhhh...... Not to forget the stay-at-home dads as well. This may be a common ocurence nowadays. I am sure you have all heard the term ' quality time with the family'. This is exactly what the stay-at-home dads are trying to achieve, I hope. Please for heavens sake don't take this as an excuse to stay at home and while away your time uselessly. For the stay at home dads and mums, there are several things you can do to earn money as well as keep yourself busy. Never remain idle. Why? An idle mind is a devils workshop.
Do you like to do something intelligent? Read thro' the advertisement at the right hand side of this blog. There is one very interesting opportunity for stay-at-home family members. This is an intellectual job where you can write articles for others. Click the link to read more. Earn some money online.
Keeping yourself occupied at home is important. This shall be discussed in later posts
Stay-at-home mums, are you all reading this. This post is specially for you all. You are all the most wonderful and blessed member of any household. You have dedicated yourself to staying at home to look into the needs of your family. How wonderful can you all be. Your hearts are full of love and compassion. You are always there for your family. You are all professionals indeed and your expertise in managing the family can never be compared. Stay-at-home Mums, We Love You All. The world salutes you all!
So the advice to the rest of the family members is, please treat them with love, patience and kindness. Without them, you will not have the love and comfort that you so enjoy when you are at home. Give them a hug, a kiss whenever you come back home from school, college or from work.
One common family issue or difficulty faced by many families is how to cope with certain family members. There are different scenarios in the family. Examples are, aged grandparents living together with young members in the family. Another case is aging parents themselves living with their own teenage or grown up children. In the mentioned situations, there appears to be a generation gap which is the root cause of many differences in opinions which results in arguments in the family. There has to be some action taken to stop these unpleasant arguments which is sometimes annoying and can go out of hand if not managed well. So how do we cope with this problem. It is obvious that the very aged are normally stubborn and will not give-in. They are always right. Therefore, one party definitely needs to give-in and it has to be the younger member always. Practice, though it may not be easy initially, to either go with the flow or slowly pacify the situation by not adding fuel to the fire. Maybe, hold a perpetual smile on your face, do not reply to any illogical remarks by the aged or sometimes, cut off your hearing. Do not make this too obvious or arguments can be more heated.
Learn to keep yourself cool and calm and do not exchange any harsh words but say something pacifying. Next, try to slowly change the subject. Do all this with a smiling face. Practice patience, tolerance and do not show temper. Always take note that the aged like to nag, are fussy and are very petty. They have their own ways and their ways are always right, not yours. They cannot change and do not accept changes. Traditional ways are always the best. This where the problem starts. Most families will have this situation.
All Families must have had a good weekend, hopefully. The weekend get-togethers has been mentioned many times in the posts. Please carry on with these fun together sessions. This is one of the surest ways to get your families come closer together and hence, build up a happy family. When you have a happy family, you will notice that every family has a healthy disposition in their faces. This in turn gives you good health. Make your home the happiest place to be in. A happy family is a healthy family.
We will look into family health and see the benefits it brings to one's family in a later post.
What is character uniqueness, some of you may ask. Simple. Look at all the people or the friends you associate with. Are they all the same. Some of them will tend to be very close to you, ( I do not mean boy/girl realationship here ) Some may be just casual friends. Ask this question to yourself, 'Why can't everybody in this world be close to each other with the same degree or level of friendship?'
Ahhh.. this will never be so. Why? Each one is made up of a unique character. No one can be the same or is equal to another person. Even identical twins are not 100% the same. There will be character differences if analysed carefully.
Consequences? Yes, indifferences exist among all to cause problems.
The same thing also runs in the family. Each family member has a unique character which leads to disagreements and arguments in the family.
We are preaching about family love, family unity, family closeness. If we apply this theory of character uniqueness, then theorectically, family unity may not be achievable.
Fortunately, the magic word 'Family' conveys love within a unit. The family is ONE. Love, tolerance and patience merge within themselves to form a powerful family binding force. This family binding force envelops the whole family and makes them one. The character uniqueness of each family member lies in between the binding force.
Families, please take note that all family tips posted in this blog are practical tips being studied and applied with good results.
Take some time to apply them where necessary for your families. Much patience and tolerance may be required to actually apply them when necessary.
If you think that there is difficulty in applying some of the tips due to your quick temper, never mind, apply perseverance and determination. Check your temper. Say to yourself, ‘I must calm down’ several times and positively feel yourself peaceful and calm. Smile and paractice the family tips again.
Let's go back to family theory again. Make it a point to apply these theories and see how effective they are. Simple they may sound but are truly verifed and have been practised to produce the desired results.
It is never possible to paint a rosy picture of a family. Inevitably, there are ups and downs in a typical family and the solution here is how well you handle these situations. Always remember one thing, that is, never add fuel to the fire.
One common problem which occurs almost daily when families are together, whether during meal times or just sitting together in front of a TV etc, are comments or remarks, maybe unconsciously made, which offends certain family member or members. Sometimes a child may pass a remark, sometimes even a shocking remark to offend the elders in the family. An elder can also do likewise. The important question here is, how do the parents or one of the parents, react to this. Shout! Yell! Scream! Loose your cool and snap back at that family member! NO, NO, NO! That is adding fuel to the ongoing fire.
So what do we do. Pause for a moment, take a deep breath. and give a smile. This will keep you in calm spirits. Now, cleverly, make a joke out of that 'nasty' statement and make a subtle stement to correct the situation. The whole situation becomes normal again and quickly and carefully, change the subject to something of a general interest to get everybody focussed elsewhere.
This is not theorectical and try this the next time you face this situation. It Really Works!
So the weekend is over, right? I hope and am sure all the families have come out of this weekend rested and refreshed. I wish I could hear a loud 'Yessss' from you all. I think I heard it. Must be my intuition.
Well, I too had a quality weekend, went on a short outing and and spent some time shopping in one of the hypermarkets. It was fun. The main idea was to be together.
So meet you all tomorrow, well... in my blog off course.
Hi all wonderful families, happy families and beautiful families. The weekend is back again. Again it is to be reminded, keep the weekend for your family get-togethers. Spend the days together, be together, involve in activities together. Eat together. This will bring quality into your family. Most of all, come to this Family Haven Blog daily to attain your family comfort. More activities for children, teens and elders are being planned.
Money, money, money! Everybody is chasing after money. What about health in the family? Health in the family comes first, and then money. Do you all agree to this?
Well, this can be a very wide subject to be discussed and shall be studied in stages.
For a family to be happy and gay, the family must be in the pink of health i.e. every family member must enjoy the best of health.
What happens if just one family member falls ill? There will be a gloomy cloud hanging over the home. I am sure many families would have experienced this.
Healthy living shall be discussed further in a later post.
Money! Very important too, I guess. Without much money, the family lives with bare necessities. This will also bring not much of happiness to the family.
Do we need to earn in abundance to be happy? Off course no! We need to earn a substantial amount to enjoy the luxuries we so desire.
What about quality time with the family? This will be studied in depth in later posts.
To recap again, there is no perfect family. Why is this so?
Lets do a family analysis. In the previous post, it was mentioned that the parents, generally, are the ones who steer the ship to the right course. They need to have the navigational aids to do this. One of the navigational aids is tolerance. If there is an absence of tolerance between both the parents, then the ship will drift in the sea with no direction.
The most ideal case is for both the parents to have a high level of tolerance. Unfortunately, this is never the case. Most often than not, only one of the parents will possess this tolerance and also to what level, is again another matter.
There are instances when both the parents do not possess tolerance at all. This kind of families normally will have much grievances between the members. There will be no communication but arguments.
A high level of tolerance exercised by the parents will calm the family and any child, who has a temper will be mellowed down. Tolerance, together with patience, is the best navigational aid to steer a family to peace and happiness.
This subject on tolerance will be continued in later posts.
There are other family navigational aids which will be discussed in later posts.
I am sure the term 'morning blues' is very familiar in the family circles. Generally, most families will experience this. What is morning blues? Occasionally, one of the family members gets up grumpy in the mornings. It can be anyone in the family. The mum or dad or anyone of the children. This is very easily seen on the affected person's face.
In such circumstances, it is best not to talk to this family member until he/she returns to normal senses. To talk or say wrong things like, 'hey, what is wrong?' or 'why, what is your problem?' or any other negative statement will only add fuel to the fire. Never further aggravate the situation. Just DO NOT communicate with this family member.
Such morning blues are temporal and last a few minutes. These are minor things that can can explode if treated wrongly.
Beautiful weekend, was it? Always target fruitful family weekends. Weekends are supposed to reset and refresh your minds to face the coming week. May it be for the children who are going to school. They too need to unwind and refresh their minds. Those who are going to work and especially the housewives, who really need the weekend rest and unwind.
I hope all families are following the Family Haven daily to improve and enhance the family relationships.
How should we start the family morning? How happy and fruitful the rest of the family day is going to turn out to be will greatly depend on how the parents start the family morning. Both the parents are the captain of the ship and it depends on them to stir the ship to the right course. So what can the parents do to start a happy day? Simple. Inject Positive Vibes into the family the first thing in the morning. It need to be just a simple smile. Give a beautiful smile and a greeting to your kids. Maybe a loving hug for your daughter. Spotting a sweet loving smile, wish them a happy day in their school or office. Give a loving kiss to your wife and vice versa, in front of your children. This radiates happiness to the whole family.
Do this simple loving ritual daily and see the happiness build-up in your family. Try it now.
There is a wonderful thing that all little children are born with. This is known as 'trust' or 'innocent trust for the parents'.
They whole-heartedly put their trust on their parents. For a moment, pause and playback your memories to when you were a little kid. I am sure you can remember incidents when you placed your full innocent trust in your parents. You were positively sure, without a doubt, that they were not going to let you down. You always looked up to them for your needs. There was this child like trust in you. As you grow older, this trust for your parents still exist, but is not as strong as it was compared to when you were a kid. It is no more that innocent trust but merely trust minus the innocence.
PLACE YOUR TRUST IN THE FAMILY HAVEN FOR YOUR NEEDS.
Yes, we are still on the subject of the child's 'mind of their own'.
Let's look at children in their teens or older. The teenage kids tend not to follow what the parents say or ask them to do. Why? This is because the 'mind of their own' in them has developed to a higher level stage. The have their own opinions, normally not in tune with the parents.
Here again, it depends on the age of the parents in comparison with the children. The wider the age gap, the more pronounced will be the 'mind of their own' effect.
If the parents are of the 'no patience type, or have very little tolerance and understanding, then the worst can happen. This is when the children start confiding with their close friends instead of their parents. This does not mean that the children are loosing their trust in their parents but rather, the children are now in a high level of the 'mind of their own' stage.
At this time, parents should learn to exercise patience, tolerance,and understanding and try to cope with their teen kids.
Why not follow this - if you can't fight them, then join them.
Well you can't do that, can you? The situation needs to be studied carefully here.
We shall come BACK to this subject in later posts.
This post is a continuation of the 'Family Life Cycle'.
Yes, we are in the subject of the 'mind of its own' Please refer to previous post to get a better idea of what we are discussing.
As the child grows, the percentage or the degree of the 'mind of its own' progresses or increases. The higher the level, ahhh.., the more problems. The little child will tend to 'protest' on certain things.
Later, stubborness and 'wanting their own ways' will be expressed by the growing child. It is still okay at this stage as the child is still cute and young. The parents will gladly tolerate the child at this time.
What happens as the child grows bigger and bigger and the level of the 'mind of its own' further increases?
The family life cycle - what is this, one may ask.
How can we look at this life cycle and learn something from it that can enhance our present family life.
Look back to the day when your first new born baby came into this world. Wow! the excitement and the happiness the little prince or princess brought for you. Words cannot describe that happiness.
The little cute child was fully dependent on you. Why? The reason being is that, the child did not have a 'mind of its own' as yet.
It is this 'mind of its own' that later will progressively bring about those little problems initially and later develop to bigger ones.
A bit of mind boggling, yeah?
I will elaborate on this in my next post. Meanwhile, ponder on it.
So far four family types have been discussed more in general. We have done a comparison as far as age is concerned.
In the future postings, more in-depth studies shall be undertaken especially taking into account the character aspect of the family. The character introduces another variable apart from age. The last four family types only took age as a factor. The more variables we introduce, the more complicated will the analysis be.
More often than not, we shall take age as the main criteria in deciding the family type.
Again, we discuss another family type. This time we see what happens when both the parents are still young but with full grown-up children.
Any of you belong to this category? OK, lets see.
The parents are still young. So what happens? Yes, you guessed right. The parents will be very open-minded and will accept all the present trends and changes. Lucky for their daughters. Why? the parents will like to see their daughters in the latest fashionable clothes. There will be no disputes regarding this.
The house will incorporate the latest electronic devices, the latest cell phones and computers.
Generally, the parents and their children will get along well. They understand each other better. They make good companions and the best of friends.
The right term to use here will be, there is no generation gap between them. Towards idealism I suppose. Is this or will this be a perfect family. This will be very subjective. If we go to the depth of it, then character analysis will have to be taken into consideration.
But lets look at on the surface of it and not get into any complications for the moment. In-depth analysis will be left for later posts.
We can generalize that this will be an innovative family.
Okay, we have already seen two family types so far. Refer to the two previous posts if you are not sure of what I am saying.
Next we have young parents with young growing children. What kind of atmosphere would you expect in the home?
This will be easy to guess. Young parents are generally still in their youthful stage, fast moving and able to cope with the fast changing world outside. Young children are still in the 'running around' stage and the parents will cope well with this kind of situation. They are not tired out and in fact love it this way.
The home will be noisy and full of activity. At this stage, there is a lot of interactivity within the family as well as communication.
It will be all up to the parents to keep the home happy. So those parents who fit this situation, Family Haven wishes you all the happiness.
Family Interactivity! I mentioned this in one of my previous posts. I need to elaborate a little on it.
Without interactivity within the family, the family, even if there are more than two or three children, the family is 'dead'. By this I mean, every body keeps to himself/herself and it will seem as though no family exists in the household. It will not be a fun family.
Oh, what a waste! So much of effort taken to raise up a family, I'm sure you all know the sleepless nights that you had to undergo, and now there is no interaction in the family. Why on earth was such a family raised. For heaven's sake, enjoy your blessed family life. There are people out there crying to have a family.
Can't you just sit down with your family a few minutes a day and just talk and talk and talk. Then laugh and laugh and laugh. So difficult!
The last post on family type reflected on elderly matured parents with fully grown-up and matured children.
Today we shall do a study on elderly matured parents with young growing children. What do you think will be the effect on the family ? What will be the good and bad points, if any ? Try to analyse it yourself for a moment, especially if the cap fits you.
Have you finished your analysis ?
Okay then, let's look at it now. Firstly, coping with the young active minds and their exposure to the present fast changing world. Generally, the elderly parents are not able to cope with the new technologies, the present mindset of the younger generation. There will be a lot of why's and don'ts in their conversations. Their conservatism will clash with the modern trends of their growing children. If the parents are not understanding, arguments will tend to take place in the home.
So what can be the solution ? There definitely has to be a compromise. One side has to give way. The changing world is inevitable. Such parents should try to keep up with the present day changes, try their best to accept the technological advancements and learn from their children. This is the only way to have a happy family.
Take note that the children are NOT going to change. The world is not going to change.You have to keep up with the changing world.
Hi families around the globe. How are you spending your week-end. Do take some of the advices in the last posts. Have a family gathering, or make it a point to have lunch or dinner together. All these adds more closeness to your families. This has already been said in the previous posts.
Please put to practice some of the family tips that have been mentioned. There is more to come each day and make it a point to visit this blog daily.
Lets have a good enjoyable and rewarding weekend to bring closeness to our families.
The saying is, "there are no perfect families", or put in another way, no family is perfect. I have seen perfect families, no kidding, yes, I can vouch for it.
You need certain ingredients in a family in order for them to be perfect. Now, what do you think could be these ingredients ? Let me tell you. They are simply a high degree of patience, tolerance, love and understanding. The greatest of them all is Love. Patience will eliminate quick- temper.
How are these applied in the family ? Both the father and mother must have these traits. If only one of them has it, then sorry, it does not work. For this reason, perfect families are few but they exist.
If both the parents have these virtues in them, automatically, it is passed down to their children. Now we have a whole family which possesses these golden virtues and you will actually see a perfect family.
For those who are hot-tempered, please read this. For your information, quick temper or hot-tempered is the most feared trait to have. It causes harm in families. For those who have this trait, please exercise calmness in yourself. If you feel that you are going to explode, pause and take in deep breaths and breath out slowly. It truly works. Try it the next time. Also it is best that you stay quiet without saying anything. These are exercises that you must work out in times of trouble.
The last post, yes, talked about family types where the parents are aged and the children have all grown up and matured. Here, the children should ensure healthy aging for their elderly parents. The children should act as motivators and encourage and help their parents to exercise.
They should be patient and spend time in getting their elderly parents to move physically and perform exercises that are suitable for them.
In this away, the parents will feel that they are cared for and lead a better quality life. The children could also exercise with them and have fun together.
I call this family types. All of you see many families around you. They could be your own children now married with a family. Your relatives and their families. Your friend's families. I have been mentioning the word 'families' so many times. Why? Yes, it is a beautiful word. A wonderful word. A word that denotes happiness.
Okay now, let me talk about family types. There are four types I believe. Let's analyse the first type.
Elderly parents with fully grown-up and matured children. In this kind of families, because of the maturity in all the family members, the household tends to be quiet. Conversations are more serious and the grown-up children tend to spend much time on their own. If they are married with kids, then the grand-parents will have something to look forward to.
Generally, much respect can be seen among the family members. The elderly parents tend to keep to themselves and normally go out on their own. Happiness, trust and respect holds the family together.
Come families, come. This is the place for all families all over the globe. Come, read the family information that is updated on a daily basis. Get your tips here. Family tips and even job tips. Soon more and more information will be added, including keeping yourselves healthy. Yes, what I mean is health tips, for both the elders and the young and still growing.
Write your comments on anything that comes to your mind, in the comments area. It is okay even if it is a family problem and advice is sought. Let the families in the Family Haven give you some of the answers. Remember, for any problem, there is a solution, especially in the family haven.
Lets talk about happiness among the children. This can be seen if you have two or more children. Make sure there is plenty of communication and interaction between the children. It is wonderful to see them together, having discussions, fun and laughter. Today, with the introduction of the computer, it's good to see them playing games together. This enriches the relationship between the children and prepares for closeness when they are adults. This is of utmost importance in order to have a close-knit and a happy family.
Who respects who, you may ask. Isn't respect an important element in the family? Look at the parents first. They are the man and wife to each other and the father and mother to their children. The husband must respect his wife and vice versa. This respect between the parents must be seen by their children. Does it stop here?
No, it goes down further than that. The parents must pass down this respect to their children, that is, they in turn must respect their children. Isn't this the other way round? No, simply because, the children are their own flesh and blood. Therefore, the parents must respect their children. When the children feel and see this respect, they in turn will show respect for the parents.
What will be the end result? A CLOSE KNIT FAMILY!.
Happiness! That is what every family should strive for. Happiness flows down to the children from parents who love each other and in themselves are happy as a loving couple. The love of the parents for each other should be seen by their children. This in turn showers love for each other in the family. Hence a happy family is born. Love for each other in the family brings blessings.
Activities! Yes, this is what is in my mind the whole day today. I was out in the city today, doing a bit of shopping in one of the supermarkets. Do you know what caught my attention the most? There were a few families, together discussing what to buy, browsing together, making a little bit of jokes here and there at some of the items. Yes! this is it, I said to myself. Activities, Family activities is the keyword. Simple activities like shopping together. You do not have to plan such big outings. Just a simple one will do. The most important tip here is togetherness.
What is being said here could be hypothetical or factual.
Come, look at your own families first. Why is my family's behavior different from my neighbor's. The children treat their parents in a different way from the way my kids treat us. Why is this so? Have you all noticed this? If you have not, try to do a study of your own neighborhood, if that is feasible.
Is it because I brought up my kids differently. There maybe a degree of truth here.
Lets study different family make-ups.
Firstly, a family where the parents are elderly and the children are still in the growing stage.
Secondly, a family where the parents are elderly and the children have all grown up, matured and working.
Thirdly, a family where the parents are young and the children are still in the growing stage.
Lastly, a family where the parents are young and the children have all grown up and working.
The above family types will have their own advantages as well as disadvantages.
Study the above and do a simple analysis.
COME TO FAMILY HAVEN FOR MORE FAMILY INFORMATION TO COME.
Hi, are you all there? The Haven invites all families around the world to write in the comments area any issues of family interest, start discussion topics and just write and write and write.(comments? ahh.. you find under each post) The Family Haven is taking off with a good start and is going to grow and grow so enormous that all family information can be derived from here.
Come families, come! The place to get recharged and leave with a smile.
Parents, I am sure you would all agree that it is not easy to have a perfect family. So, what do you think we should do ?
Communicate! Yes, communication is so important in a family. This is missing in many families. Could be on of the main problem that leads to families not being close. So what do we do? Very simple. Just sit down with your whole family and talk and talk and laugh and laugh. Is that difficult to do? Not at all.
Please for Heaven sake, DO NOT start debates and eventually arguments during family communication. This is Always the Common Mistake. Avoid this at all cost.
How about playing games together? Wow, this is a very good ingredient for a happy and loving family. Play table games, maybe a card game or even a game of monopoly. This will lead to fun and laughter.
Is that difficult? NO!
Ahh... how about planning Family Travels together. Maybe within your own country, or to another country. You will be amazed how close your family becomes.
Family Haven encourages Happy Families.
LOOK OUT FOR MORE NEWS TO COME in the Family Haven. IT IS FREE!
Hi to all families in Haven. How was your weekend ? Share your weekend outings by writing in the comments. Did you all have family dinners together ? I ask this for this is one of the most important way to bring families together. Make it a point to do this during the weekends. Weekdays are hectic and the families are usually never together. Fathers out at work, mothers out at work, children in school and the teens are either in college or university.
Always think of a close-knit family. That will be the key to a successful life.
Yes, many more interesting information to come. Are there stay-at-home moms, dads, retirees, the unemployed teens. Many jobs are available to help you to supplement your family income.
Ahhh... another very important group who are welcome to give their views and raise any issues in the Family haven are the Single parents.
We would like to know how you are coping, specially your kids. Who knows you may truly benefit by interacting with other family members via the comments.
Everybody is loved and respected in the Family haven.
WE ARE STARTING STRONGLY AND ARE GROWING AND GROWING. GIVE YOUR FULL SUPPORT TO MAKE IT YOUR FAMILY HAVEN.
This blog, serves as a special Family Get-together haven, aimed at all families globally, to come together and make it their sanctuary.
It will be a one-stop-center to acquire useful information relating to family issues. Feedback and comments are most welcome from families living around the globe. Share your experiences, even any kind of family problematic issues. You will get the answer to your problems from the many who interact in the Family Get-together haven.
Come here when you are feeling dull, bored or feel down in the dumps. The Family Haven will put you back right again, will entertain you and provide a smile in your face.
This Family Haven is not only for the Seniors and the Elders. The young and the growing-up teenagers too have their say. Write your comments or express your sincere feelings or any matter that troubles your mind. A definite solution will be provided by the Family Haven.
For Heaven's sake, please also highlight all your wonderful and happy experiences and events in your family. This will make other families happy too. Happiness and laughter can be infectious.
Wish all wonderful families a belated Season Greetings. Christmas is over and so is New Year celebrations. I hope all families got together during these celebrations. So much of love, peace and the spirit of giving and loving was around during these seasons. I am sure all of you had a share of this. If only love for one another in a family could be measured, imagine the amount of love in the world during these season.
